Sunday, January 30, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
He died peacefully with my mom, my brother and myself by his side. The funeral was quick (as it is in Jewish tradition) and we are now mourning the loss of my wonderful incredible dad with family.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
for the course itself. The rocks will have no mercy. I have seen this course
rip apart many a "good trail runner." Mountain Mist is trail running in its
finest form. No one is ever let down, just shut down, beaten up, broken and
left bleeding. You first timers beware, this course may cause you bodily
harm. Even though you have entered the race and paid the fee...YOU CAN STILL
BACK OUT! No one will laugh at you, just tell them your family still needs
you and you want to continue running in the future, they'll understand!
Otherwise, "know your limits and then completely ignore them."
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
and, i know that it is not justified (nor is it true), but i feel like a failure, and very defeated. b/c as hard as my program is, and despite the fact that LOTS of people struggle, they are still able to pass. so, why am I the person that was not able to do it?
after 7.5 years of academia, am I that burnt out of school?!?!? and, i think i am so affected by it because i LOVE nursing, and i LOVE this program (despite the fact that it seems like everyone around me, including myself, is flunking out), and know that both are perfect for me.
I am worried about having to face the global health committee, and being the student that they gave a second chance, and wasn't able to handle it. I do think that having to do stats probably had an effect on everything and my workload, but, despite that... it is the undergraduate classes (and the exams) that are killing me; pathology, physiology, pharmacology, and this one. all 4 are undergrad classes, and all four have been a struggle. they make me feel really stupid. (and, i know. i'm not. but, it is just how I am feeling.)
I know that there was a point last semester, when I was not feeling well, that i thought "Shit, this whole thing is going to cause me to drop/flunk out of school." I never thought it could be actually true. Now, the prof for the class I failed has written the program director, and is going to see what the procedures are... if there i can write a supplemental exam (it seems to me that all my classmates that I have told say "yes, we are allowed to fail one class, and write the supplemental."), or do an extra project on the subject matter to get some extra points.
I am not out of school just yet. If i am, i honestly have no idea what I will do. But for now, i compartmentalize. I cope, i go on. And, i wait. I wait to see what the decision will be. and, i will go forward, not "fighting for my position," but, rather, humbly. Because, clearly, if I get through this, and they figure something out to let me stay in the program, I am getting yet another second chance. and, well, that is more than i deserve.
ARGHGHGHGHGHGH! i hate this. it sucks.