Friday, January 7, 2011

we go up and down. and we have limits.

So, it has been quite the week back to Montreal. In getting back, I thought that things were going to be fairly normal going into the new semester. But, it has been anything but that. this week taught me a lot in a little time, and they are lessons that we all need to learn, and need to learn repetitively. It has been a week of lows and highs.

I have always been decent at school. I am not stupid, and yet it has never been SUPER hard to get good (not excellent) grades. I have always thought that "if i did not have as much going on" i would be a straight A student. Every once and a while, I think "eh, that is not true" but, it is about what you put into it, right? My CV is exceptionally full, with life experiences that I have been totally blessed to have. For at 27 year-old, i have life experience of someone way older. I do have the tendency, because of those two things, to set high standards for myself. And, i am happy when I achieve those standards. In sports, it is the same thing. In swimming, I was good, but not great. In rowing, i was verging on the edge of great. In triathlon... well, that has yet to be seen. All i know is that i think i am doing better at triathlon than I am doing at school ;)

This week taught me again about humility. Getting an F on my transcript is awful. it send shivers of "oh my god, i will never get another scholarship/bursary/award in my life" or "if I ever want to do another degree, i will never get in" fears down my spine. It also sends the "damn. what must my profs think of me?" But, it reminds me that we have limits.

it is like the team that only has wins, losing to a team that is lower in places. A top triathlete who nails almost every competition, having everything go wrong during a race, and not finishing. we have limits.

i guess it is that we need to be reminded to ground ourselves. humility is essential in everything we do. I know it is not true for everyone, but most people need to try really hard to be able to do really well. and "failure" is something that reminds us of that. and, when we succeed, and do really well, we need to remember how easy it is to do to much, and loose focus, and loose balance and fall. i've heard it say that the higher you are, the further you have to fall. isn't it a statistical concept? something about approaching the mean?

anyway. big lessons being learnt this week.

in other news. remember my global health stream? the possibility of going overseas for school. well, yesterday there was a meeting about if people agree that sending a student to Malawi would be a good idea. There was agreement, and so now it is just about my supervisor sending a email to say "yes, we think this is a good idea" and it will be good to go.

so, what does that mean for me!?

well, long story short, I am 95% sure that next september to december, I will be doing a clinical, and a research project based out of Liglongwe, Malawi. In Liglongwe, there is a well established Nursing school, with advanced degree nurses. So, keep your fingers crossed, but, it is looking pretty good. and let me tell you.

that news makes my heart sing. 'Cause this girl will be going back to the Motherland. This girl will be going somewhere that feels like home.


Anonymous said...

OMG Amelia... I know this is our lifelong dream...... incredible! I am so proud of you! SE YOU SOON!

Kelly said...

this is a very thoughtful and insightful post. I think it's hard to step back from such an emotional week and be real with yourself like you have just done. And often when you do that what you find are the things that are really important to you are the things that happen.

Kristin said...

Great post! So true of Nursing and nurses. We've seen alot in our years! Failure is not complete unless you make it that way. Get up, try again. Thats my motto!! How exciting for you to travel! I wish I did that in school!! :)