Thursday, November 27, 2008

"my words are falling short...

and there's so much i want to say..."

but maybe not the right words to express. funny how that works, hey? (ps, i love that song. maybe one of the best lyrics ever exist in it: "it feels like lightning running through my veins, every time i look at you..."

today is thanksgiving. not for me. nor for many of the people around me. but for "all y'all" down there, i hope you had a fantastic day. Today was the first day since the year 2000 that I have not celebrated with you. so, it has indeed made me miss it a bit. a few things i thankful for: i am thankful for my friends. both ones who are close, and ones who are far. i am thankful for goals. they get me to wake up in the morning. i am thankful that i live in a country that i do not feel like i am going to wake up one day, and be bombed. and, for people who may live in countries like that, i hope that the world changes so that you do not ever have to feel that. and, for those of you who are scared... may you have peace. i am thankful that i have a job, and that i am educated. this puts me ahead of a lot of people in the world. but, not greater than those people. i am thankful for 'cause those things can hold the world together, if they are properly upheld.

so, i have started getting my applications together for school next year. i will apply for 4 programs. 3 locally, one in Montreal. I hope i get into montreal. not cause i want to leave, but because i think it is the best program possible for me. but, here they are:
4-yrs B.ScN at Trinity Western
2-yrs B.ScN at University of British Columbia
2-yrs MPH at Simon Fraser University
3-yrs MScN at McGill
and, im not going to lie. I looked into other programs, that are far away from vancouver. I feel like i have itchy feet a bit, but i know i love it here, and i love being here, and i need to stay here for a while, to continue to establish myself, and root myself, and find my foundation. but, i think i need a shift in paragdigm.

i think i need to get back to my passions. i need to be closer to the underpriviledged, and marginalized. i need to be reminded that although I am enjoying working with the population that I am working with, that it is not where i want to stay.... but sometimes that scares me, because it leaves a lot of things open. so, i am looking. looking for something that might be suitable. and, that is kinda exciting, but also will probably mean taking a blind step forward... which, sometimes can be uncomfortable.

meanwhile, i got in the pool again for the first two times this week, after a 6-week (or so) hiatus. oh man. on monday night, while sleeping, could i ever feel my lats. ridiculous. but, it was pretty funny... while in the pool all i could helf but think was "damn. all i feel like i am doing is flapping my arms, and getting no where fast." i didn't last more than about 40minutes. and, last sunday, it was a beautiful day. i was supposed to do a "90-minute ride." it ended up being about 2 hrs hardish, and another 30minutes just riding along (JRA!) i couldn't get myself to stop. except at the end, and i went by solly's for a yummy yummy cinnamon bun. i would ahve to argue that they are the best ones in this city...

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Fall Classic Half-marathon race report.

so, half marathoning has come, and gone. I raced this morning, and, i am not going to lie. it was fantastic. tremendous. just challenging enough, but not wrecking. fresh. filled with good solid energy. great food at the end. a great way to realize the fall goal of "not hating running" was achieved. fun.

(i would like to make note that i have never done a 70.3 triathlon. this shirt is a bit of a lie. i did the relay on this one. so, i got a shirt, cause we paid the entry fee ;) )

i think the text message that i sent to my friends this morning to have them send me good leg energy helped. :) long and strong. long and strong. we used to say that with rowing, and yet it is so applicable with running as well. keep those legs moving long and strong. as well, in rowing, during my last year, our coxswain (Laura) gave each of us in the V8+ a specific word that she would say to us. mine was "relentless." i have kept that little piece of paper stuck on my tack board ever since. and, i thought about that this morning. what a strong word. an empowering word.

the weather was perfect, and i enjoyed the course. mostly flat, with some small, rolling steady inclines and declines. the weather a perfect, slightly overcast approximently 10-13 degrees C. cold enough to not overheat, warm enough to be in shorts and a t-shirt. i even got to see parts of my university campus that i have never seen before!!! i think that i didn't warm up much, but not sure if it really mattered all that much....

The results are not up yet, but i know that I ran a personal best. the clock time was about 1:47, and i started about mid-pack, so i am guesstimating about a 1:46... approx 8 minutes faster than the only other one i have done, a year and a half ago. I did not walk at all, except 10 steps through each of the water zones. and, also, the fact that i felt lighter. leaner. was pretty nice too. today, i felt like i could take on the world. today, i did not question if i have bitten off too much with entering a 70.3. today, it was nice to see people with the ironman tattoo. oh those ironmen and women... i think that they are pretty remarkable creatures.

a funny thing of note was when i tried to make a joke to another runner when the lead pack went by on the out and back part of the race. there was one leader, and a chase of about 10 runners. of that 10 runners, i would say that 6 of them were not white. so, i said "hum. looks like to win races like this, we need to change our ethnicity. ha ha!" apparently, the lady didn't think it was all that funny. she responded with a dry: "or maybe we just need to train as hard as they do."

coy. very coy. apparently, when people are running 1/2 marathons, the sense of humour goes down the drain ;)

and, today, there was a quote on the back of a runner's shirt that made me say "hummmm. i like that." something that gave me a little to think about during the run. it said something to the effect of:

you know who you are. and you know what you are capable of.

oookay, here are some numbers.  chip time was 1:46.33 (5:o4/km split).  Clock time 1:47:09.  Overall rank: 151/929.   female rank: 86/507.    women 20-29 rank:34/153.   

i just hope that thought continues to evolve in my life. i want to continue to discover who i am. i want to continue to know who i am right now. and, i want to continue to exapand on what i am capable of. and, lastly, i want to help other people do that. help them discover themselves, and realize that they are capable of more than they might think they are. :)

Thursday, November 13, 2008

fall classic run and nutrition...

So, all of a sudden it has creeped up on me... (is creeped a word!?!?)

that, on sunday, I am running a 1/2 marathon. it will be the second time that I have done a 1/2 in my life. the first one, was a mostly downhill run from the valley above the dead sea, to the lowest place on earth, for the Dead Sea Marathon in April 2007. Yeppers, the feet were burning by the end, and there were camels on the side of the road. yes, indeed, i travelled to Jordan (with one of my best friends, Zach), and ran a 1/2 marathon. It was amazing. this is at the carb loading party, and then at the pool post race :)

I went for a (approx 10km) run today.  I think the wind was blowing about 10 million km an hour, and it felt impossible to run. but, not only that, but my legs felt like bricks (the first 3km, my feet couldn't stop clumping on the pavement), and  they are sore (from what?!).  so ,the run turned into a walk-run.  mentally, that helped.  but strange.  i don't quite understand how one day, you can feel like a million bucks on a run, and then the next, you feel like crap.  anyway, it made me a little worried about sunday.  Needless to say, i think i will do a 20 minute "shuffle" tomorrow, and a spin ride on saturday.  just to keep the legs moving, but not strained.  

i am not sure i have a goal for this race. mostly, to go out, and to enjoy. enjoy the fall. enjoy that in the last couple weeks, i have not dreaded running.  enjoy that i can eat copious amounts of carbs on friday night, and all day saturday.  and, hopefully enjoy finishing below 2 hrs.  but, just for fun. cause, going "fast" is fun.  as of now, weather is meant to be 9 degrees C, and sunny.  so, pretty perfect. I just hope that it does not change.  

a couple of weeks ago, i mentioned that i was starting to watch my diet a little more.  mostly to just lean up, and be a faster racing machine.  and, it is going quite nicely.  Other than a sugar crash that happened on Halloween, and this past weekend, having a one or two too many desserts at my nieces birthday, it has been really good.  so, a few points about what i am doing recently: 
  • ordering from spud. that's right, folks.  I get organic, mostly local, groceries delivered to my door every thursday.  it is a little more expensive than a regular grocery store.  but, it makes me feel good.  not only about sustainable food sources, but also about the fact that it has drastically reduced my "Eating out" habit.  the reason being?  well, i have enough groceries in my fridge to last the week!  previously, because i commute on bike and bus, i often run out of food in my fridge, and it is a huge hassle to get some.  so, i resort to buying food in stores.  not so good
  • i am eating as "raw" as possible.  that includes ridiculously large amounts of veggies and fruits.  also, i am trying to predominately eat foods that include just one ingredient.  like nut.  or soybean. or milk. or egg. or tofu.  you get my drift.  
  • i am studying simon whitfield's eating habits ;)  thanks to impact magazine this month, simon mentioned mark's daily apple.  i have added it to my blog roll.  also, i am becoming a fan of Lara bars.  mostly because i understand what all the ingredients in each bar are.  
  • today, for the first time in my life, i made soup. it has potatoes, squash, carrots, onions, garlic, and spices in it.  and, it is yummy.  which, needless to say, kinda surprised me. 
  • trying to cut down on carbs such as muffins and baked goods. this is *Really* hard.  i love love love baked goods.
  • allow myself one day/meal/evening a week to "cheat." this normally includes a night out, or a meal with friends, or a nice dessert.  
 but needless to say, on the 21st of Oct, I was 173.5lbs.  yesterday, i was 170.  Maybe it is water.  or, maybe this is working! :)

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Here comes the rain again...

so, i was in edmonton this past weekend.  and, as much as it was a fantastic weekend, it feels good to be home.  I got back into vancouver yesterday at about 4:45, and went directly to my friend Audrey's, where i then went out for an hour run, and then finished the night with a potluck dinner...  it was pouring rain.  i got soaking wet.  but, there was a strange feeling of being "home."  so, here comes the rain again.  and, i guess it is not going anywhere until at least march.  ;)

hopefully though, on sunday for the 1/2 marathon, the sun will come out for at least a while. 

some photos from the weekend.  briefly, i got to edmonton, drove directly to Calgary, slept over night, and then went caving the next day in Canmore.  not going to lie.  I am more of an "above ground" adventurer, but the girls (my niece Makayla, and her "foster sister" [for lack of a better word]) had a great time, experiencing things that totally expanded comfort levels.  Then, eventually went back to edmonton, and celebrated makayla's 13th birthday.  Saw 2 friends, my sister, and my mum.  it was go go go.  but, nice to wake up to fresh snow on tuesday morning. 

me: being silly.

me, and a life long friend, Christopher Gillen.  We have known each other since birth, but only get to see eachother once in a blue moon. 

In the cave.  Me, Makayla, and Katherine.

the group of us!

getting ready!  love the suits! 

me and Makayla.  love that girl to bits and pieces. 

3 Generations.  My mum, me, and Makayla.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

so, i think i have gone nuts...

and, it made me want to throw up last night....

i entered two races in the span of two days.  

a 1/2 marathon on the 16th.

that is the one that makes me puke.  
don't ask me what inspired it, but at least the entry fee will keep me committed to it.  
i could barely sleep last night.  and, i couldn't quite determine if it was excitement, nervousness, or complete fear and questioning if i have gone nuts. ahhh! :) 

Monday, November 3, 2008

running in the dark

so, yesterday, i did this run in the dark. and, it was fantastic.

the funniest bit about it was when i was in stanley park, approaching lost lagoon, and all of a sudden, i see some white stripes coming towards me. alas, it was not the somewhat well known band, but rather a multitude of skunks. and, im saying, not one or two. i think i spotted at least 6 of the critters. let's just say that my pace picked up a bit at that point. 'cause, i wouldn't have been able to go home on the bus. and, if i even made it home, i doubt Erika (my roommate) would have let me in the house. that is right. i would have had to sleep in the garage, or in the jeep that is not being used. i would have been homeless.

the run was serene. the run contained vancouver night time lights of downtown, and a slit of a moon over the water. the run went by swans on lost lagoon. the run felt strong. the run was not mentally exhausting. the run went by lovers in the park, reminding me of how wonderful love is. the run ended with me on a bus, traveling home in spandex over long-johns, and tall-ish shorts (resulting in funny looks!). the run included times of adrenaline, when it was so dark that i could hardly make out the path in front of me.

i am really happy with how i am doing with running... mentally, things have been going fairly well. I am taking a much more relaxed view to it, but also making sure that i am "forcing" myself to do it, so that i am building mental toughness. and, it has gone well... I am for sure going to race a 1/2 marathon on Nov 16th. and, i am excited for it. it was runs like the one on sunday that made aspire for big things in my life. things like longer races, or opening businesses, or being in touch with friends, and remembering that no one else in life can make us feel good about ourselves, except for us as individuals.