"my words are falling short...

and there's so much i want to say..."

but maybe not the right words to express. funny how that works, hey? (ps, i love that song. maybe one of the best lyrics ever exist in it: "it feels like lightning running through my veins, every time i look at you..."


today is thanksgiving. not for me. nor for many of the people around me. but for "all y'all" down there, i hope you had a fantastic day. Today was the first day since the year 2000 that I have not celebrated with you. so, it has indeed made me miss it a bit. a few things i thankful for: i am thankful for my friends. both ones who are close, and ones who are far. i am thankful for goals. they get me to wake up in the morning. i am thankful that i live in a country that i do not feel like i am going to wake up one day, and be bombed. and, for people who may live in countries like that, i hope that the world changes so that you do not ever have to feel that. and, for those of you who are scared... may you have peace. i am thankful that i have a job, and that i am educated. this puts me ahead of a lot of people in the world. but, not greater than those people. i am thankful for faith.hope.love 'cause those things can hold the world together, if they are properly upheld.


so, i have started getting my applications together for school next year. i will apply for 4 programs. 3 locally, one in Montreal. I hope i get into montreal. not cause i want to leave, but because i think it is the best program possible for me. but, here they are:
4-yrs B.ScN at Trinity Western
2-yrs B.ScN at University of British Columbia
2-yrs MPH at Simon Fraser University
3-yrs MScN at McGill
and, im not going to lie. I looked into other programs, that are far away from vancouver. I feel like i have itchy feet a bit, but i know i love it here, and i love being here, and i need to stay here for a while, to continue to establish myself, and root myself, and find my foundation. but, i think i need a shift in paragdigm.

i think i need to get back to my passions. i need to be closer to the underpriviledged, and marginalized. i need to be reminded that although I am enjoying working with the population that I am working with, that it is not where i want to stay.... but sometimes that scares me, because it leaves a lot of things open. so, i am looking. looking for something that might be suitable. and, that is kinda exciting, but also will probably mean taking a blind step forward... which, sometimes can be uncomfortable.


meanwhile, i got in the pool again for the first two times this week, after a 6-week (or so) hiatus. oh man. on monday night, while sleeping, could i ever feel my lats. ridiculous. but, it was pretty funny... while in the pool all i could helf but think was "damn. all i feel like i am doing is flapping my arms, and getting no where fast." i didn't last more than about 40minutes. and, last sunday, it was a beautiful day. i was supposed to do a "90-minute ride." it ended up being about 2 hrs hardish, and another 30minutes just riding along (JRA!) i couldn't get myself to stop. except at the end, and i went by solly's for a yummy yummy cinnamon bun. i would ahve to argue that they are the best ones in this city...