This is a on going series that is posted on (the occasional) thursday's, to answer the question: "What helps you to thrive in your environment?" The series is written by myself, and a variety of guest Contributors. This week, I want to comment on peopel who lift you up.
if you are a regular follower of my blog, you will know that I have not had an easy start to the semester. if anything, it has been humbling. It has been character building. It has opened my eyes to how easy it is to just be brought back down to reality. And, it got me thinking about how certain people, this week, have lifted me back up in through this week. Mostly, it has come in the form of the academic leaders that are around me.
it seems as if this week, there has seemed to be a lot of blog posts about not hitting perfection. Coach Mary commented on it, and referenced "single dad laughing" post about perfection. My teammate/friend/train this coach Kelly talked about being real in her wonderful you wednesday post. Today, My other teammate/friend Alexa reflected about rebounding from being hurt. And, i don't know if it is because it is the winter. or, if it is because it is after holidays. or, just what it is. but, we rise. and we fall. and we have people to pick us up.
As you may know, I am a goal oriented person. I set goals. and i push out to achieve them. And, I am not all the time disappointed if I don't get them, because I know life evolves. And, because of my faith, I have an underlying belief that I cannot totally F up my life, because i have "someone" else out there looking out for me.. protecting me from falling and screwing up too hard. I might wander off a path towards my goal. I might miss that step in attaining it. but, I guess that one of the other things is that I believe God may puts people in my life to help me get through those points.
over the last week, i have been afraid of disappointing people. To the extent that I felt ashamed. mostly, i disappointed myself. but, i felt as if I was letting people down. letting people who gave me a chance, a reason to question their decision. I was afraid to tell the people that I needed to that I had not done well. That i wasn't able to "pull through." and, the response I got was amazing... i got "you don't need to be ashamed... I think no less of you, or of your potential." I got a spontaneous hug in the hallway from a very incredibly achieved woman, who is a leader in her field. I got a "how are you doing? let's plan your project. What are your interests for Malawi?" I got a "It's ok. I got my first F on the same week I found out I was pregnant. Then I re-took the exam, and was fine." I got a "what are you sorry for?"
it has been amazing. The shame that I have felt has mostly passed over. I am waking up in the morning excited for what is to come. I am seeing the light at the end of a scholarly tunnel. I have been uplifted by people who know how to uplift. the very people that I am wanting to "impress."
because they have been understanding, despite the fact that they do not know me well. But, they understand that life happens. and, we move on. and... people like that?! well. they make you thrive. because they believe in you. and they allow you to believe in you, when you may have forgotten how too.