oh, the line of focus...

September, in a student's life is never easy, i don't think. As soon as you think it is easy... well, then something else happens. For this (my3rddegree.ugh.) time round, it is Federal/provincial student loans. This is the first degree in my life where I need to have canada student loans. My B.Sc was funded by the lovely WVU athletic department, where i did this:

Then, for my M.Sc at UBC, i worked here, and here, and then finally, here. and, i made it through. I am finally at a point, broker than I have ever been in my life, and saying "Show me the money! I don't want to work! i just want to focus on school!" but, that comes with loads and loads of bureaucracy (is that how you spell it!?). and, it comes with long lines, and going from office to office. and, if you remember last year, my loan was 6 weeks late, and I had days where i was afraid of where I was going to be getting my f

ood. And, i hate that. This year, I think that it will go better: fingers crossed --> the lines have been waited in, and the papers signed. and, now, I just have to wait.

yesterday, i had a "ahhhhh" moment. a moment when i came to the realization that this fall is probably going to be better than last fall. montreal feels more familliar. montreal and I have had some differences over the past year. but, you know.. I have an idea what to expect from my nursing program. i know the roads. there are some people here (despite a curse that I have of befriending people, only to have them leave the city/program) that i like quite a bit. places that i like to hang my coat. but, right now, i can't stand mcgill (that is a different post, for a different day). and one of those reasons is because of all the *STUPID FRESHMEN* running around in groups, with coloured t-shirts, chanting, and calling out to eachother. Parents: go home. 18 year olds: stop pretending that you are 14, but now legal to drink as much as you want.

finally, i was out for a run this afternoon, during a week which has kinda been my "let's get the mojo back." and, it was a good run. it was an endurance run, and my endurance zone running, is always higher, than when i bike. i have tried, for the life of me, to get my HR down lower, but, it always hovers in my Z3, and slighly higher. but, if you look at the following, you can clearly see where i turned around (minute 23 ish) and hit the head wind that had been carrying me for the first half. HA!

anyway, i feel like i am "ramping up..." on my run, i thought "damn. i pretty much have 3 weeks." and, for you who don't know... 3 weeks is NOT a lot of time in training land. it is soooo fast. so, what will this next three weeks consist of? well, it consists of me saying "no, i will not go out tonight, because tomorrow, i am waking up at 5am to do my workout." (ahem. that also applies to skype conversations. i will not be kept up until 11pm on skype) it means i watch what i eat, like a hawk. that alcohol is at a very minimum. that I make sure that I give myself enough time to recover, between my workouts. that when i rest, i rest. when i go hard, i go hard. that my focus is on this race.

because this race might be the last one of the season. (i know that there might be the chance to run something in the fall, and I generally *love* fall 1/2 marathons.) and, i want to do the best I can possibly do.

i also remembered what a baby I am at this distance. I have had some thoughts of what i can achieve at this race. but, then i remembered, that in the next two years, i really want to improve at this distance. I have next season, and the summer of 2012, which are the seasons before my "Real life" begins. and, i will still be in the same age group. I *know* that with help from my coach i can qualify for worlds. and, despite the fact that people complain about clearwater... it is still worlds. and i want it.

I will graduate in spring of 2012, and then, after that, the world is my oyster.

so, who knows what might happen.

all i know that is on September 19th in syracuse, i will walk into that lake with some of my train-this teammates, and know that from now, until then, i did everything I could to succeed at that race.