dreaming over the ocean

so, courtney did this, and said that everyone else should do it. so, here it is. highs. getting 5 (or more) music CD's from music guru Megan Orsini . Let me tell you, i have been waiting in high anticipation of this for a looooong time. and, finally, they have arrived. and, new music makes me happy. recently, i have had some interesting conversations about the idea of hell, and what is the definition of a christian. and, it is interesting, and it gets me thinking a lot. because i think i tend to have quite a open definition of both of these. such as the idea that i don't like to make presumtions of the state of someone's heart, or the state of their faith, or "lack" of it. i also know that i believe that there is hell, but i have no right to presume that there will be anyone in it, because of the grace and mercy of christ. however, also, there are many places in the bible that make it seem like it is *Very* easy to spend the rest of eternity there. so, wh...

a lot of times, i wish that i could make other people's pain vanish, never to be seen again. i wish i could take it away from them, so they didn't have to bear it. or, at least be able to give them something to be able to make them feel more rest and peace. friend, if i could take away your pain, i would. if i could help you find the answers, i would. but, all i can do is be here. and know that i am here if you need it.

So,  the olympics have almost come and gone.  And, as we well know, there has been controversy and debate and drama and victories and lots of late night television watching.   I love the olympics.  And, i love the summer olympics, more so than the winter games, which might surprize some canadians.  but, really, think of the sports that i have been invloved in in my life.  swimming.  rowing. cycling. soccer. volleyball.  they are all summer game events.  And, as well, i would like to say that if you put a high paced race in front of me, it almost does not cease to amaze, and entertain me.  but, for these games, here are some of the things i have enjoyed, in no particular order. That I know two participants in the games.   Malcolm Howard  who won in the men's 8+. Congrats Malcolm!  I know him from high school, we graduated from Brentwood together.   Megan Metcalfe , who I was a competitive swimmer with in childhood, but also was a varsity athlete with at West Virginia University;  sh...

Senator's McCain and Obama sit down for a face-to-face with Rick Warren

i have a feeling that an MCAT test report is not as fun as a race report. but, funny enough, i felt just as exhausted (maybe more so!) after writing the MCAT, as i did following a race. in the sense that all i wanted to do was sleep, and not do anything for about a day.... anyway, so going up to test day, i felt good. I was doing well on practice tests, completing them in time, and getting scores that i was pleased with. My stress level had decresed, and formulas were sticking in my head. I was loving life on the sunshine coast, spending days studying, and hanging out with a dog, drinking coffee and going for runs. ideal. I went to WA state on thursday night, got a decent sleep, and on friday, went to write the test. section 1, Physics and general Chemistry : well, let's just say that i could've felt better with it. In fact, i felt like it went awful. After the section was done, i almost broke down and cried during my 10 minute break. it was rushed, i didn't answe...

you know when things happen that ticks you off, and you could do nothing at all to change it after you made the decision!? almost like a speeding ticket. you can get so ticked off that you got nabbed by the cops. but, really, nothing you can do, except pay it. it was your choice to go to fast. or, like a going to see a matinee, because it is supposed to be cheaper, only to find out that they have changed ticket prices so that they are the same, all the time, no matter what show you go to see. or, like getting gas at one station, because it is the cheapest that you have seen in a while, only to drive around the block and find it uniformly cheaper everywhere else. or, like posting a ad on craigslist to sell a chair at a reasonable price, only to find out the real value of the chair later, after you have someone scheduled to see the chair, and you cant change the price. and, the realization that you could have sold it for at least 75-100$ more expensive, but it is to late. i made a decisi...

i think, that every once and a while, something happens that you can't explain.   today was my first full day of "pre-MCAT relaxation and house/dog sitting" on the sunshine coast;  which, for those of you who are not BC'ers, is a small area north west of vancouver.  A short ferry ride away, but seems like worlds away.   amazing, tall arbutus trees. wide open ocean.   views of mountains.  silence. pristine beaches. hiking trails. and, i don't know if it is from the encouraging emails that i have had in the past few days, from people who care about me, saying that they are thinking of me, are praying for me, or sending positive thoughts towards me.  or if it is the fact that i don't have to worry about going to work.  or if is that i have disconnected from my exam fear emotions.  i am not quite sure what it is.   but, i know that tonight, while i was reviewing chemistry, i sensed it.  i sensed the calm.  perhaps one could call it peace .   and, it wasn't jus...

"You shall take pleasure in the time while you are seeking, even though you obtain not immediately that which you seek, for the purpose of a journey is not only to arrive at the goal but also to find enjoyment by the way. "- Henry van Dykes

Outward bound quote of the day: "Find out what you want, imagine things as you want them , build new ideas of life, stop believing that some people are lucky and some must be poor, change your ideas and find that life is a beautiful adventure , that each day brings new opportunities to those who will lift their eyes above the everyday grind. " - Venice Bloodworth okay, people. MCAT date: t-7days. im telling myself "you will get a score of 30." even though, most moments, i don't believe it. I am scared. nervous. stressed out of my mind. unable to turn my mind off. anxious. wanting to have a good cry. wishing that i could just be brilliant, and that this knowledge would be a natural talent. that is all for now. with all of this going on, and more, i ate a 1/3 of a two litre container of icecream last night. first as a rootbeer float, then as a strawberry milkshake. soooo much for the fight for losing weight ;) LOL. kidding.... just means that i have t...

so, i found out today, that i am ineligible to apply for medicine at UBC. which, automatically discludes me from applying to UNBC or UVIC. the reason why: in highschool, on my CHem AP exam, i scored a 3. while this is good enough for credit in 1st year chemistry for West Virginia University, it is not sufficient as a prereq for med school at UBC. as well, the intro Biochem class at WVU is 5 hours, not 6. So, i am an hour short. pretty much, it is a decision I made in 2001 which discludes me from applying; the only way in, would be if i were to take 2 terms of 1st year chemistry. BAH... what a piss off. in other news, it is 8 Days until i write my MCAT. please, pray to whatever God you pray too, so that i end up doing well. Cause, this is my passion. It is my desire. and, i really want to do well, so that i can pursue that. also, i am currently in contemplation about doing something that is very outside of my character. perhaps a little silly, even. perhaps with risk of great...