dreaming over the ocean

It's the eve of Ironman Canada, and I will close my eyes in 3 minutes. People keep asking if his is my first ironman.  I did challenge penticton in 2013, so no.  Somehow this feels very different.  I think I have greater expectations.  I've put more forward onto this race.  When I toe the line tomorrow AM with 100 other women in my age group, and far more other competitors, I will just be so thankful and grateful and excited.  There are going to be a lot of fast women out there.  I am going to do the journey, controlling all that I can, and letting go all that I can't.  I will fill the dark spaces with flowers and rainbows, and high rive as many people a possible.  I will try to dance down the finish chute. Thank you for doing this journey with me.  For believing in me, for pushing me, for laughing with me.  For not getting annoyed with me and ironman talk. For feeding me lots of food, and forgiving me when I'm too tired.  Than...

Hello,   I am wanting to write about a public inquiry that is happening this week at the Edmonton courts, with the hopes that it might get covered in the news. My sister, Shaunnie Rebecca Payne, passed away in September 2012, while she was under care at Alberta Hospital. Rebecca was 31 when she passed away, after years going in and out of different facilities.  She was diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder, and had all the difficulties associated with it: couldn't hold down a job, difficult family relationships, housing troubles, substance use, etc. etc.  At any rate, long story short is that she was in Alberta Hospital in intensive care; after having been taken off her medications and started on Clozapine, she passed away suddenly.  On a Friday, she had a physical assessment by an MD, and then she was found dead in her bed on a  Sunday morning . The post-mortem indicated that she had a toxic amount of clozapine in her blood. No one knows “...

Oliver Half was a last minute entry for me, as I had planned on racing Cultus Lake Loop, the weekend after.  However, I'm really happy with the weekend, and the time spent in Oliver, and heading back to the site where my first BC race was, after I moved back from Montreal in 2012.  We arrived on Friday, after a beautiful drive through the North Cascades, and then had a good swim.  It felt like it was going to be the hottest place on Earth.  My shoulder has been a bit twingy, so I decided to not swim on Saturday & give it ice and a rest.   Up early on Saturday, got a great bike in (fast, with a low HR), and quick brick.  Then, mostly legs up with a bit of wine tasting!  I was also sipping on electrolyte water all day long.  My goals were to mostly try to race what Ironman should feel like: comfortable, but not insane.  Drink more fluid than I think is needed.  Race smart, race strong.   I think my pre-race warm up was well e...

It's the night before a race, and there is a whole lot of nothing going on!  Exactly the way I hope. We drove to the OK yesterday after meeting Sean and Sam following the epic Alaskan bike and ferry ride. Then we drove an amazing highway: the North cascades across to Osoyoos.  soSo beautiful!   I am going to be racing the Oliver Half Iron put on by Dynamic race events.  The last time I was here, it was 2012, I did an Olympic, and it was my first race in BC after moving back from Montreal. This race is #2 of 3 scheduled for the year, and I feel relaxed! We are staying at beautiful Spirit Rodge resort, and it feels like a race-cation.  Today we even got some wine tasting in, and pool side sitting.  (All, of course, while I taking plenty of salty water and a few more carbs than normal.) I was out on a ride today, and I was able to go fast without much effort.  Exactly what you hope for.  The day before a race.  It is going to be ridiculously hot...

Oh boy!  I cannot believe how quickly this spring had passed by.  Seriously, it is summer already, and Ironman Whistler is just around the corner.   These last couple months, particularly April, have been super hectic.  At the end of March, I had a couple weeks of feeling like I was never feeling healthy.  So much so, that around Easter, I was so sick that I was (well... Still am) convinced that I had mono.  I've never had it before in my life, and my symptoms were right on.  It wasn't strep, which was my other likely.   At that same time, we had a wedding on Vancouver Island, so my mum came to visit.  On her first day here, she slipped and broke her arm.  She stayed for 3ish weeks.   Around that time, sean and I travelled to California (it was awesome!), and I had one of my slowest 1/2 Iron distance races ever.  It hurt SO bad.  I learnt a very basic message:  you can't race fast and efficiently if you don't t...

I am at home sick today, after sleeping for 12 hrs last night. I have been fighting a chest cold, which is not as bad as the plague that hit me in january, but certainly not fun.  I hate the ongoing debate that happens in your head when sick: stay home, or go to work?  Do a bit of exercise, or relax?  Only eat ice-cream, or cook food? That's the kind of day it is.  So far, I have decided: staying home, relaxing, a bit of cooking.  It sure is boring being home all day. At the beginning of March, I started back at Primary Outreach Services as an outreach nurse on the Shelter team.  Honestly, I was unsure about what it would feel like to return; being in Public Health for 8 months really helped me define what I like about public health, and what were the areas of practice that I did not love about that position.  That was the same way I felt about returning to outreach nursing.  I know that there are a TON of things I love, and a few things that ...

Wow.  Can you believe that March is right there?  It is so close that we can touch it!  And, here in Vancouver, it feels like it.  Bright, sunny skies. Flowers blooming (?!?!) No snow on the mountains.  Outside riding already!  Hooray! This winter has been quick, spring is right around the corner, and the summer… well, let’s pretend it is still far away. I will be returning to my job at Primary Outreach Services, in the DTES, on Monday.  I have been away for about 8 months, and there are many things I am looking forward to in returning.  This time in public health has really served to teach me many things, and has really served to show me what components of public health nursing that I love, and which I don’t.  However, that is a whole other post, for a whole other day.  Maybe next week, once I am back. This past Sunday, I ran my first race of 2015 at the Fort Langley Historic Half.  Unfortunately, it was after having a month...

II'm sitting in the airport right now, waiting for my delayed flight to Prince George.  If you know where PG is, there are not many reasons that you would choose to go there in the middle of February.  Right now, a ton of athletes are going there for canada winter games... But not I.  I am using vacation days to go for the workshop portion of a rural nursing course. My only hope is to come back with awesome nursing knowledge, and successfully get at least a good handful of workouts in, now that I am past my flu slump.  I'm not in the clear with my knee as of yet, but... Fingers crossed for continual ability to train. Yesterday, My friend and former coach, Mary Eggers, posted an incredible pic on Facebook.  Now, many is pretty much a social media queen, and her photo garnered dozens (way over 100!) likes and comments.  Other people posted photos. It was a frenzy.  What was the photo she posted that garnered such a response?  It was a photo of her a...

This week has been a bleh week! Even during my last post, I had NO idea.  I was sick last Monday, and I was struck down by the flu.  3.5 days off work in order to cough and hack in bed, and binge watch things like... the bachelor. *cough cough.*  I went from and AWESOME training week, to one where I got nothing.  seriously, 1.5 hrs of exercise all of last week. Some dog walking, but other than that.... zilch. I wished that I could do it, but I was not able to do it. Then, I had a job interview.  I lost my voice the morning of the interview, and thus, I was an octave lower, scratchy, and whispery throughout.  Despite that, I felt like I did well.  Despite the fact that I felt like I did well, I did not get the position.  Which, was disappointing, as I felt like it was a role that I would be able to grow into and do very well at.  However, I don't yet have the required experience level for it... unfortunately, I pretty much agree with them....

I'm having a bleh day.   After an awesome week last week, and a good (albeit busy) weekend, I have been strucken with the blehs.  My chest is tight, and I am congested.  And boy, am I tired!  It's like my body looked at the upcoming recovery week and said "ok, time to quit."  I hate that.  I stayed home today, and it was a helpful day.  What sucks though, is knowing that there are a lot of priority things that are happening at work, wanting to be there to take care of them, and not feeling good enough to handle them properly.  The conundrum of work vs healing.  So far, 2015 has been awesome.  If you are in Vancouver, you know that these past couple days have felt like April.  Can you believe that there are already green plants peeking out? Amazing. This January had been filled with great things, and emotional things, and learning things. It has been filled with new things and consistent things.  Let me name a few of those. - tw...