big goals...

yesterday, I had my end of term review with my clinical instructor at school. And, it is amazing, because despite the fact that I have enjoyed clinical, I am r.e.a.l.l.y h.a.p.p.y. to be done with geriatrics. If you read a few days ago, you know that some of my experiences have been less than ideal.

we learnt about what our placements for Ped's and Post-Natal will be next semester. And, let's say that "nothing is set in stone," but, with the declaration that this area is going to be the clinic that I am working in absolutely thrills me. i was able to ask the clinical coordinator after class: "so. well. a TB clinic. does that mean.... well, that it will involve a lot of immigrants and people in lower socio-economic groups....? since, well, you know, that is where TB exists?" [thinking....please say yes!] and, her response was, "yes. of course. you like that, eh? I thought you might." (and she said that the placements were random. ha ha ha! i don't think so....)


at any rate. my meeting. All i got was positive feedback. and, some assignments back. and, it is funny, 'cause i don't think my instructor is allowed (or something) to give a A. cause, i get an assignment back, and it is .25 less than an A. but, within the paper, there are no places that say "this is where you went wrong." kinda funny. and, if it was a graded class, i would be annoyed, but it is a pass/fail. so, i'm good with it.

but, we got talking at the end of the meeting about the "Do you know what area you might want to go into?" and, of course I do. and, i voiced it like this... "heh. well, you know, sometimes when people ask me that, i hesitate, because people think it is way too big of a goal."

and, i guess, that is the thing about it.
sometimes it seems like too big of a goal.
sometimes it seems like i have no idea how this is going to pan out.
sometimes it seems that it would be way easier to just stay in north america, and settle.
sometimes that is why i look for people and places where i can settle.
but, that is not me.
that is not my dream.
that is not my passion.
and, that is not why i call this blog dreaming over the ocean.
and, so, i dream that my dream is not too lofty, and not too ridiculous that someone can tell me otherwise.

I have been to africa, 3 times. you can see some pictures of my second trip at that link. and, it was on that trip (i was 18), where i knew that my life until whenever was going to be a walk back towards africa. [why africa?! i am not quite sure. it is just where I have grown a passion for. the place where i feel totally at home. the place where most of my heart lies. sometimes you can't explain that].

what is my dream?
i dream of having a clinic.
a clinic in a remote area, that reaches people who would have to walk for days to get adequate medical care.
people who have limited access to health care, and rare contact with the western world. people who live and love their culture. people who live on sustenance. people who can teach me what it means to be grateful for what i have.
i want to be able to have a clinic where people can come and receive care for everything from the small, to the large. a clinic that can treat not only the physical, but the spiritual, and the psychological, and the societal, and the emotional needs.
a clinic that not only has nurses, but a physician, and therapists, and teachers, and students.
a clinic that welcomes first the locals, and secondly, people from western cultures.
a clinic that is a place of learning, and of teaching.

i dream to have a clinic that can change "my little corner of the world."

and, if you have ever listened to "Johnny's camaro" by david wilcox, what is where the name of this blog comes from. about a girl who went to africa, came back to north america, and her life was forever changed.


and, for those of you who are curious... yes... there are triathlons in africa. could you imagine?! ha ha! a tri in lake victoria?! "um, excuse me Mr Crocodile while I swim through your eating grounds..."