There are so many dresses out there that suit my personality, and such. but, dress shopping has always been difficult for me. I am not little, I am athletic, and often, I don't have a super great idea of if it actually looks good or not. i have a general idea, but I always appreciate a 2nd opinion. However, today, i decided to take a litt
le stroll up Main Street where there is a lot of great little shops that carry mostly local and mostly sustainable clothing. And, you KNOW how much local and sustainable makes me happy.
which reminds me... this past
weekend snowboarding, i have lost one of my most FAVOURITE articles of clothing (though, I should really call the youth hostel). In 2007, I bought in Tofino a totally unique Hoodie (which you can see in the photo on the left). I
gulped as i paid the 100$+tax, but then i proceeded to wear that hoodie pretty much every day for the next 3.5 years. the huge hood. the fact that it is "one of a kind." the fact that it is purple. and now... gone. SAD DAY. :( pout.
Ok, back to the point. I walked into this store, with the aim of buying a inexpensive, pretty "christmas dress." because, there is something about christmas that screams "buy a dress!" I found two cute ones, and one cute corduroy skirt. Bring them into the change room, and am moderately pleased with the first, except for my armpit fat. so, i put the second on. It is a little tighter, due to the fact that it is strapless. but, whatever, up, over the head, and wiggle my way into it, and straighten the silk underlayer. I realize by this time that it is slightly too small, Mostly due to my outrageously large ex-rower/swimmer/current triathlete shoulders. (if you want huge lats and rhomboids? do the sports I have done. start with swimming at age 6. quit swimming, and row for 8 years. then try to get rid of that muscle with triathlon. it doesn't work.)
very modified story to follow. this entire process was about 20-30mins.
so, fine. nice dress, ask if they have a size larger (XL... really!? i am *not* extra large, TRUST ME.) and, sadly, none. So, i then proceed to try and take this sucker off. i go to pull it down. nada. not fitting over my butt/thighs. i try to pull it up (like, taking off... say, a sweater... "skinning the cat?"). nothing again. wont fit over my back. shit. damn it. how do i get this dress off?
sweat. panic. try again.
"um.... excuse me. (open the curtain slightly, poke my head out.) um, excuse me sir. i have a little bit of a embarrasing situation here." (he looks at me...) "um... yup, so, this dress went on, but, i can't get it off... it just doesn't work. i need help."
"errr. well, i have a girl working at the other store, across the street. maybe i can get her?"
"sure. yup, that would be great" (ARGH! how am i so inept at this to not beable to get a dress off!??!)
man on phone "um, right. so, you have customers. okay, well, we need a girl working over here right now." (me thinking... why is it that the guy is working in the girl's clothing store, and the girl is working in the men's clothing store!?!?) "oh, ok. well. come over as soon as you can."
man to me: "so, she might be a while. she has customers."
me: oh. ok. well, i'll wait.
him "well, i suppose I can go over, and lock you in here, and she and i can switch places. do you mind being locked in the store?"
me: "sigh. no. no problem." (hear him leave, door locks)
wait. wait. door opens.
"oh hi there. sorry about this. it is a little embarrassing."
her: oh, no worries. how did you get it on?
me: over my head. i have no idea how it is not coming off. i don't understand that how i can put something on, and not take it off.
i have to kneel down, since I am 6inches taller than her. arms up, over the head, deep exhale to empty the lungs. pull. budges a little. sweat. makes it more difficult, due to the stickiness of silk. repeat. OH! yes. moves more.. inch by inch. wiggle.
YESSSSS! i am free.
"um yeah. sorry about that. thanks for the help. at least i have a funny story now to tell at christmas."
and yes. i will buy this corduroy skirt. but not that dress. definently not the dress.