Monday, September 13, 2010

please forgive me if i act a little strange...

so, today, during my swim, i thought about a few things.

syracuse will be the first tri that I have ever gone to, where I don't have a spectathlete. no one to make sure my stuff gets to the finish line. No one to give me a sweater when I am cold at the finish. it seems a little strange to be traveling to a race, with no one at my side. At least, I get to meet my teammates who are there!

but, mostly, i just wanted to tell you that it is not your fault... if, this week, i act a little strange.
... if i don't respond to non-urgent emails.
... if i don't care for much conversation outside of class time, or meeting time, or whatever time.
... if i am insistent on going to sleep at 10.
... if i don't want to answer questions about "how I am feeling" or "What i am thinking."
... if i ask you to be dropped off here or there, because i am choosing not to commute on my bike this week.
... if i spend a good amount of my free time, inside my room with my door closed.
... if i walk around in a little bit of a "daze," and don't notice if you are there.

because, i have other things on my mind.

this week, i will get spontaneous pangs in my stomach. ones that I generally cannot distinguish if it is nervousness, or if it is excitement.
this week, i will prioritize school and commitments and rest and efficient taper training. that generally means that I don't prioritize you. (well, okay. maybe you...)
this week, i will be thinking about how my bike is going to respond on this course.
if my nutrition plan will go as I hope.
if my swim will be another gong-show.
this week, i will be checking my email daily to await my race plan from coach mary.
i will be making lists in my head and on little pieces of paper so that i don't forget anything for the race.
i will have moments where you will just see me smiling, because i know that i love racing this distance, and I will be remembering what it feels like to cross that line.
what it feels like to soar on the bike.
to wait on a beach with those other women.

this week. i will race.
i will be wearing a light pink swim cap (yay!!! not another ugly red one!)
i will be sporting race number 1054.


Kelly said...

Looking forward to our little slumber party w/ a race after!! Have a great week!

Bonnieupnorth said...

Thougths while swimming...Talked to Margie who has just finished a dualthalon in Scotland where they rode and ran around a tall mountain craig called Arthurs peak and then a week later in Budapest for a tri where it was a downpour but cleared for her race. Said to have Canadian spectators including her hubby cheering was really helpful but alot of these one does on one's we are all there is spirit cheering!