but, only for a short time. Tonight, I am having to myself. I will finish a glass of wine, watch a movie, and go to sleep *EARLY.*
first off, thanks to all the great comments after my 5km race report. they really meant a lot. and, also, if you are a (possibly new) follower (via blogspot or twitter), post a comment! I would love to know you are following, and add you too my RSS feed. I love new followers, and i love reading new blogs, and i LOVE getting comments from you all. honestly... what do YOU want to read about?! what are you interested in!?
I have not had a quality post in quite some time, because it is crunch time, my friends. It is that time of the semester where everything tumbles together, no matter how well prepared you were for it. I thought (oh so naively, perhaps) that I was on top of my work. but, sadly, that was not quite true.
Over the last 3 weeks, i have been ears deep in school work. Mostly what it has consisted of is writing my research proposal for Malawi. It was progressing fairly well, but then I had a meeting with my supervisors, and my research questions ended up changing. Which... well, despite them being now more appropriate for the setting, added an ASS LOAD of extra work, to be done in a very short time...
so, what did that mean?
well, pretty much, it has meant that I have had to remember that my priority in life right now is to do school. it is not to train. it is not to earn money. it is not to socialize. it is to do well at school. but, for my personality which likes to do a lot, this is difficult. and it is certainly difficult not to train.
especially since there are exciting things going on right now with training... the season start is coming up (first 1/2 Marathon of the year in a week!!!), and I have brand new training zones (resulting from my last 5km) which means a new intensity to training, and the weather is finally getting nice, which means i want to take my black flying machine outside.
sadly, though, what it has meant is that training is on a back burner. For the past two weeks, i was meant to have 14hr training weeks. I struggled to get 9hrs in, both weeks... but, i have gotten my "key" workouts in (mostly). it kills me, because it feels like i am losing fitness, and that my mind is numb... i need a break!!!! but, this is what i am here for. I want to be a good nurse. I want my project in Malawi (which, is now going to be focused on maternal mortality and nursing retention/distribution) to go well, and go smoothly.
and, unlike some of my classmates, i also understand that remaining sane means having to get good sleep, and eating well. So, other than my one binge on thursday night, and wanting to drink wine, i have been pretty good at doing that. but, that also means that when i go to sleep at 12:30 at night, i am not waking up at 6am to workout. and it is not that i am not doing well at managing my time. it's just that my days are filled with 10+hours of doing work on the computer. I barely feel like i have time to grocery shop, or reply to emails, or even go to school (i work from home these days). but, i have appreciated talking to the boy i like frequently on skype prior to going to sleep. almost every night, he reads me a psalm before i go to sleep and, i like that. here is a picture of him, that his brother recently took.
it is about balance. and, i know this will pass. and, i hope that my training is not being flushed down the drain. but, holy crap. this school work is FRICKEN HARD! at least i love what i am learning. but, i will be really happy when the semester is over. 'cause honestly, i do not know how to put into words how exhausted I am feeling right now, and how much work still needs to be done. and, when the semester is over i will not have to do things like this anymore (at least until the fall). here is too our last concept map of the semester, which we (me and 2 others) will present on monday afternoon.
so, until the next post (which, hopefully, will be sooner rather than later). Maybe it will be my 1/2 marathon race report... oOOOOooooooOOOO! so exciting!