Monday, April 28, 2008

overwhelmed with life

this week has seemed awful, and tonight, i was just upset with people.

first of all, you would think, that with 2 extended health care plans, that the following things would be covered, or at least some of it:
~eye glasses
~massage therapy

in total, those things cost approximantly 900$.  how much did i get back?  35.  35 dollars.  what the hell!?  damn bureaucracy! it really isn't helping someone who does not have a high income, but is struggling to live, contribute to society, and be educated.  arrrgh. i am so upset about that.  i know it is only money, but really.  i shouldn't  have to pay 400$ for a damn 7 block ambulance ride.

and, i lost my phone.  which cost another 100$.  

and, i am stressed about my presentation on wednesday. I think and know that i am prepared, but after my presentation last thursday, i felt raked over the coals, even though i got positive feedback.  i don't want that to happen again.  

and, finally, i am over analyzing life, and relationships.  the ones that i have, the ones that i don't have, and the ones that i wish i had.  the people that influence the choices that i make.  the people who shouldn't have influence over the choices i make, but do.  the people i don't actually know in real life, but think i should.  the fleeting encounters that make me realize that that i sometimes don't have control.  

and, africa is making me homesick again.  it has been too long. 

and, in last note.  I am running the pacific spirit 10k trail run. I am fundraising for it. it goes towards awareness/research on Dementia.  You can see my sponsor page at the following address:

look up my name.  Amelia Payne. in case you forgot.


Bonnieupnorth said...

Just made some interesting connections, my girl, sitting here after my meditation and listening to some music for the first time Dave Wilcox's Johnny's Camero and "dreaming over the ocean"

Hope the balance of week better and I know you will do well on the presentation.


Anonymous said...

why were you in an ambulence?! and hey! im going to zambia this summer and am super excited! ive loved hearing about your stories from africa and am looking forward to being able to experience it as well :)