My mind is torn!

OH boy.  It's almost 11pm, and I am awake in my bed, with my mind running 1,000,000 miles a minute.  I may not be able to sleep this evening because I had a glorious afternoon nap today, but, I know that my mind is running with all the things that are happening in the next two weeks.

When I feel my tired legs lying in bed, I am reminded that my first big race of the season is right around the corner. In 9 days, I will be toe-ing the line at Boise 70.3.  There are only 40 qualifying spots for 70.3 WC Mt Tremblant, so I have to have my A game on.  I have high expectations, because I have only been faster this year, than any other year prior.  Can I do a sub 5hour race?  I hope so... last year, there were two women in my age-group who were that fast.  in 2012, apparently, Boise 70.3 had a 15mile bike ride due to ice.  In 2011, the times are all slower than 6 hours.  What the heck is going on here?!?! All it means, is that I have no idea what to expect.

All I can do is trust that my fitness is there.  This past weekend, I missed my workouts due to fatigue and general ugh-ness.  Key workouts that, I expect, are essential prior to a big race.  But, as coach Doug says: just because I missed my long workouts, it doesn't mean that my fitness magically disappears.  We'll just have to see, won't we?  Sure... I'm nervous. I'm excited.  I'll be ready. I'll doubt my abilities. I want it to go well.  Surely, I will toe the line, and show up ready to race.  

In addition, my mind races with thoughts of Malawi.  Of the glorious, wonderful country of Malawi.  I have much of the same sentiments towards my trip, as I do towards my race.  I am nervous, excited, wanting it to be successful, worried about my abilities to influence in going well, unsure about our preparations being complete. I think back about my time in Malawi in 2011, and it seems such a short time ago... could it really be almost 3 years?  How time flies.  I cannot wait to see what difference there is in the project that Warm Heart Initiatives is partnering with.  I cannot wait to meet new people, and see other projects.  I cannot wait to reconnect to Nurses that I know, and friends that I met while there.  I cannot wait for the fullness that comes with being in Malawi.

And, sure.. I also cannot wait to spend a day on the beaches of Lake Malawi.  

Finally, I have some BIG news.

As of tuesday, I accepted a 1 year full time Temp position at a different VCH community team.  I will be spending the next year at a Children and Youth Public Health team.  Im excited about the change... often, change gives you somewhat of a break.  Honestly, a break is what I need.  I love my current job at the Clinical Outreach Team in the DTES... I love the work we do, the colleagues I work with, the schedule, the clients.  It's just very stressful.  It's hard, hard work, and my being is feeling that a bit.  my being needs a bit of a break. 

In addition, looking forward in my career, I need public health experience.  If I ever want to work in Policy, in education, in global health... having public health experience, and work experience with people throughout the lifespan, is essential.  Working with children and youth (ages 5-19) at schools in Vancouver is particularly what I need. I'm excited to practice immunization,  STI screening/treatment, education...  I'm excited to work with youth!!!  How fun!

The position will start immediately after my return from Malawi.  Things are moving quickly.  Sometimes faster than I imagine.  There's lots of things to do, and what seems like very little time.  

And... that includes getting sleep.  its time to try again, now that i have the thoughts swirling around in my head, down on "paper."  

The views expressed in this blog are mine alone, and not those of my employer (Vancouver Coastal Health), or those of the organizations on boards that I sit (Warm Heart Initiatives, Leading Edge Triathlon Club).