Friend Fatality?!?!
On Monday, I got back from a wonderful trip to Jamaica and Toronto with Haines and my friend Sandra. It was a fantastic time away, and so refreshing. Maybe more on that later... for now, a few pics.
I came back, and it hit me. I'm officially done Mat leave. I no longer get government assistance/EI. I am back on the sign-in sheet at work. I have just over a month before my first shift again. Wow!
I have a few things happening this week, with my in-laws in town, a party to throw, and advent starting. On Monday, I invited a few friends of mine to Vancouver to kick off advent & one of them, who I haven't been able to see for quite a while, was unable to attend. Something emotional triggered in me, and I suddenly worried that I had my first "Friend Fatality."
You know, that thing that happens when someone who has never been a parent, becomes a parent? That shift in social relationships that accompany that life change? That thing you think will not happen to you, cause you trust the strength of your relationships?
In a 24 hour period of time, I went from "All is well --> ugh, she's never available anymore, i'm writing a passive aggressive text back to her --> i guess i am going to have to recognize that this friendship is changing. --> Oh well, i will just let this pass. Let our friendship fade into something that was. --> I'm sad about that, but it happens to everyone. For the most part, friendships have seasons."
RIGHT? It was a rollercoaster.
WELL.... it turns out that the next day, we were going to be attending the same gym class. We arranged for a coffee afterwards, even though i only had 20 mins before Haines had a song class. But, it was a great coffee. I heard about what is going on in her class, updated a bit about my life, and then used 4 minutes (no joke...) to say "Have I been an asshole who missed significant things in your life?" and.. "i'm worried that you're my first friend fatality." I teared up.
but... guess what... she's not my first friend fatality. she hugged me, validated my feelings, and said that she understands why i could feel like that. After our coffee, she texted me and said that she loves me, even though i'm crazy.
I.FEEL.RELIEVED. and Thankful. It reminded me that this is what it is like. Navigating Mama-hood.
I have a few things happening this week, with my in-laws in town, a party to throw, and advent starting. On Monday, I invited a few friends of mine to Vancouver to kick off advent & one of them, who I haven't been able to see for quite a while, was unable to attend. Something emotional triggered in me, and I suddenly worried that I had my first "Friend Fatality."
You know, that thing that happens when someone who has never been a parent, becomes a parent? That shift in social relationships that accompany that life change? That thing you think will not happen to you, cause you trust the strength of your relationships?
In a 24 hour period of time, I went from "All is well --> ugh, she's never available anymore, i'm writing a passive aggressive text back to her --> i guess i am going to have to recognize that this friendship is changing. --> Oh well, i will just let this pass. Let our friendship fade into something that was. --> I'm sad about that, but it happens to everyone. For the most part, friendships have seasons."
RIGHT? It was a rollercoaster.
WELL.... it turns out that the next day, we were going to be attending the same gym class. We arranged for a coffee afterwards, even though i only had 20 mins before Haines had a song class. But, it was a great coffee. I heard about what is going on in her class, updated a bit about my life, and then used 4 minutes (no joke...) to say "Have I been an asshole who missed significant things in your life?" and.. "i'm worried that you're my first friend fatality." I teared up.
but... guess what... she's not my first friend fatality. she hugged me, validated my feelings, and said that she understands why i could feel like that. After our coffee, she texted me and said that she loves me, even though i'm crazy.
I.FEEL.RELIEVED. and Thankful. It reminded me that this is what it is like. Navigating Mama-hood.
Comments