Continued recovery

Today, my daughter is 11 months old!  And, there is less than 60 days until 2020.  Thats nutsbar (i recognize that is probably not a word, but that's cool).  Fall is my fave part of the year, and this week is stunning.



It feels like in a blink of an eye, I will be going back to work. 
And no, I don't have childcare arranged.  However, I am hopeful.
And yes, I am sticking with my old job, even though there is lots of other opportunities out there.  I thin there is something to be said about returning to familiarity.  I will start there, and move forward.

Today, I woke up feeling a little guilty... for lack of a better word.  Haines and I had a great trip last week to Edmonton, where I was helping my mum with quite a bit of stuff around her house.  I also was able to spend time with quite a few people, mostly over shared meals.  So, it was good stuff.  It was really nice to have my mum spend an extended period with Haines as well.    We got back yesterday, and I was so tired.

Today, in my post partum wellness group, we had a great conversation.  The "take home" points for me was recognizing the difference between "shutting down" vs "taking a break," as well as "responding" vs "Reacting."  Last night I shut down a bit, I think.  While I knew that binge watching Outlander felt good (and it was VERY good), i recognize that connecting with my spouse would have been better.   That makes me feel a little yucky.   Fortunately, we will have time to connect over dinner tonight.

That's it for now.  It's a continued journey.

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