dreaming over the ocean

Sean and I are currently on the ferry, making our way back home after a weekend on Vancouver island. Nice to get away from the regular bump and grind, and good to get a quick visit with the Birch side of the family.  We were taking the little trip to hopefully inspire young minds. That's the hope, anyway. A lesser known fact about my young life is that I am a private school graduate;  not only a private school, but a boarding school. My parents sacrificed a lot to send me away to a place that I would wake up to the ocean air every day, wear knee high socks and a tartan skirt, and be reprimanded for sneaking a pet hedgehog into my room to live in the closet. I'm not going to lie... I honestly think that if I did not go to Brentwood , I would not be the person I am today.  I would not have gone to WVU, because I would not have rowed. I may not have seen the world, because I would have stayed living in Edmonton. I also would not have had the house parent, coaches, friends, ...

It is pretty amazing to think about the last few years of my life... in many ways.  I remember the day that I wrote the MCAT in the Fall of 2008, and knew on that day that my life would not be aimed towards becoming a physician.  I was a bit lost, because that is what I had thought I wanted to do for many many years.  I knew that, but, I also knew what I was passionate about:  the physical body and health care, helping people, community, and (well... africa).  The thing that I thought about being doctor, was the extreme amount of "influence" that they can have on people.... Life changing.  But, I also forgot about all the other professions that can be equally influential. through a journey that I don't necessarily need to outline again, I found nursing. And, boy, am I ever glad that I did.  Nursing has changed by life, my perspective, and makes me exceptionally excited about the career that I have ahead of me.   The last three years at McGi...

There, being where?!?!!? there being New Orleans .  There being back home in Vancouver .  There being done my assignments .  Done being job searching.   There are so many things going on right now!  so, i am going to hit a few points: triathlon, Malawi, and school.   Triathlon:  It's kinda amazing, because the fact that I am doing a 70.3 in 8 days has kinda snuck up on me.  I know that I haven't talked much about triathlon this spring, because... well... sometimes I wonder how interesting it is to people?!?!?  I do  think that there is so much more in this world (and, consequently, in my life) worth talking about.  Not that it isn't interesting... but, it's narrow.  And, I wish that this blog can reach a large group of readers.  Not just people who do triathlon. that being said.... I am SUPER excited about this race.  Mostly, because I feel spot on.  Now, I have no data to back that up.  Not really...

it is pretty rare that you want to post a school assignment on your blog.  However, I thought this was pretty applicable.  I am taking a "professional issues in nursing" class, in which we are examining everything from leadership, to power differentials, to unions, to.... you name it, it's there.  At the start of the semester, we were coming up with the class outline, and one of the aspects that we added to the class outline was a personal change initiative. it is not a "super serious" assignment, but one which is good to reflect on.   I always laugh about the aspect of "reflective practice" that occurs in nursing.  just sit, and think about what you did, and what could've been different.   :) anyway, this is how the assignment was described: " Leaders must embrace change and model change in order to encourage others to do so.   Learners will submit a 3-page, double spaced, 12 font description of a personal change initiative ...

and, right now is one of those times.  I was in Edmonton last week, for a family thing.  not a great family thing, but a family thing nonetheless.  Because I was there, it meant that I also missed a week of school stuff, and productive work time. I arrived back to Montreal this week, and have felt like i have been consistently walking around with tears welling up in my eyes.   For some reason, montreal never makes me feel "Sigh, I'm back at home."  or "sigh, i love being here." there are nice things about it... but it is not the feeling that I get in other places.  I almost cried in yoga on tuesday, when I looked at my Chitenje (African cloth used for various things , most notably carrying children on a back, and wrapped around as a skirt) that I had brought to cover myself up at the end of the session to stay warm.  i think i just looked at it and thought "damn... what would I do to be back there..."   i miss malawi. ...

Almost every day, I have experiences which kinda make me say "oh man.  I am SO far away from Canada."  Sometimes, they are very tiny things and sometimes they are monumental.  and sometimes, i even forget that that they are a little strange.  like this morning... it has so far been a relatively normal day.  Nothing too eventful.  Except for the gecko hiding on my floor that scared me. and the fact that this sign was posted on a lamp post.   Sorry for the poor photo (it was taken with my phone), but I am not sure if you can read it... it says "A night of war against satanic manipulation." oh great.  just what everyone needs. then, a fellow saw me taking the picture, and after a minute or so of conversation said "I would like to be your friend."  HA.  OK. Fine.  And, I walked into school having a little laugh... that is one of the biggest cultural differences that is hard to overcome. no matter how long you can be here, it feel...

Every once and a while, something that you read really catches you.  And, for me, that rarely happens in academic literature.  I am currently reading a lot about "participatory research"for my new research manuscript to sum-up my time here in Malawi.  and, I came across this quote.  quite fantastic, i think... " As people engage in dialogue with each other about their communities and the larger social context, their own internal though patterns and beliefs about their social world change;  their relationships to each other become strengthened; and ultimately, they enhance their capacities to reflect on their own values and to make new choices." 

two days a week, I spend my day at Queen Elizabeth Central Hospital, here in Blantyre.  QECH is the largest referral hospital in Malawi, with approximently 1100 beds, spread out over a massive land area.  It is interesting, because, apparently, when they were designing this place, it must of thought it would be unwise to go "up" in building, so they just went a single story... so, it is perhaps the most sprawling hospital that I have ever been in. Have I ever mentioned how much I am a big fan of public health care?  Think what you might, but I think that health is a human right~  not something that you should have to pay for.  and, that is why it thrills me that I get to be doing my  clinical rotation in a public hospital in Malawi.  I was even a patient there, during my week of explosive diarreah.  and, I when i was brought there, I was asked "Are you scared?"  um... no? they do have qualified doctors and nurses, right? (yes) they ...

So, I am sitting in my bed, taking the day off of my clinical rotation.  why?  Well, for no other reason than "we get one sick day"  and it is sunny, and I want to do my tempo ride on the beautiful grand prix circuit, which has uninterrupted baby-butt smooth pavement.  and, as long as i have a productive day (i.e., grocery shopping, training, cleaning, and packing), then, i will call it a good day to skip. it has been a while since I have blogged.  Not because there is nothing to say, but, because days are quite filled!  My Clinical takes up most of my time, but, so does training, wrapping up final school things for the last semester, and talking to the boy I like.   Last week, at this time, I was sitting in my supervisor's office, awaiting for someone awaiting the final forms for my proposal.  I am done!  WAHOOO!  On friday, with the submission of (18 fricken copies) my proposal for the Malawi project to the  internal review boar...

so, i have a few minutes to blog, before i get back to my papers, or, before the boy i like calls.  i am sitting in my bed, looking at the *terrible* weather outside, and exhausted due to the workout that i just finished.  you can see it here: I am running a 1/2 marathon tomorrow , (but would rather be racing NOLA 70.3 .  but, life and funds dictate something else... one day i will get back to race my "inaugural" 1/2 ironman).  I really hope that the weather clears up tomorrow, or the race will be like it was last year.  wet and cold.  and, that is NOT weather for a PB.  and, i really  want a PB for this distance.  it has been 2.5 years that i have ran 1:46's on my stand alone 1/2's.  it is time, folks.   time to smash that.  (but... after the past few weeks of crappy training... and today's workout?!?  we shall see...) and, just as a note... i have been loving working out in my new zones... they have definitely bump...

but, only for a short time.  Tonight, I am having to myself.  I will finish a glass of wine, watch a movie, and go to sleep *EARLY.* first off, thanks to all the great comments after my 5km race report.  they really meant a lot.  and, also, if you are a (possibly new) follower (via blogspot or twitter), post a comment!  I would love to know you are following, and add you too my RSS feed.  I love new followers, and i love reading new blogs, and i LOVE getting comments from you all.  honestly... what do YOU want to read about?! what are you interested in!? I have not had a quality post in quite some time, because it is crunch   time,  my friends.  It is that time of the semester where everything tumbles together, no matter how well prepared you were for it.  I thought (oh so naively, perhaps) that I was on top of my work.  but, sadly, that was not quite true. Over the last 3 weeks, i have been ears deep in school work...

but, if you are interested, this is what I have been doing. I have designed this study: Based on this theory of Nursing Retention (Stewart et al. 2010): and further backed up by this model on Maternal Mortality: and, on Friday, i present it all. eeps.

So, yesterday, i found out that the class i normally have on Friday's was not happening. Know what that means? It means that this morning, I was able to wake up to the sunshine coming through my windows, rather than waking up to my alarm. I don't have to be anywhere until 3:30 this afternoon. I will spend the day doing school work in my PJ's, then go buy an aeropress ... (The boy i like is saving me from drinking crappy, instant coffee in the morning. That's a reason why i like him. he values the coffee snob in me.) Then, I will head down to the rowing bassin (on my bike... it will be my 1hr recovery ride, there and back) to coach the boys of Selwyn House School . I kinda (and, in kinda, i mean, really) like coaching these kids. It just brings the fun back into rowing. And, it also means that I get to take full control over the program, because the other "coach" knows pretty much nothing at all about rowing. Then, back to mile end for some Yoga and...

first off, it is a recovery week . It means: more time for school work. More time to see friends. More time to sleep. More time to focus on good nutrition. All things i like. secondly, the forecast is amazing. that means lots of outside commuting, and sunshine to wake me up in the morning, and crisp nights. it means extra free energy. its not warm. but it is sunny and dry. thirdly, lots of things for school are wrapping up. i just had my last family nursing meeting. Tomorrow, I will do a final OSCE for my physical assessment class. I will have my last clinical rotation feedback class. all of this means papers are soon to be due, and presentations are to be had, but, in general, there is an end to this story of the semester. fourth, i ROCKED master's swimming last night. We had a 1000m warm up, then a pyramid, that included 50/100/200/400/200/100/50 sprint/fast bits, with recovery distances in between. Normally, my "go to" T-Time for 100m is 1:30, fairly co...

I am super duper tired. no matter what, it seems as if i can't get enough sleep each night. but, thus is life. so, just sayin that this post is prolly going to be short... training is crazy these days... i am in the last week of my second strength/tempo block of the winter. And, one of the things about these weeks, is that running is loaded to the front end of the week. on sunday, i have a long run. on monday, an hour endurance. on tuesday, a 45 min tempo effort, doing mile repeats. and, i don't know about you, but, many times, i thin that running is the necessary evil attached to the end of two beautiful activities. i am not a runner. but, something has clicked in the last few weeks. all of a sudden, i have learnt to run in my zones. this has been a LONG time coming. I remember many many post-workout comments of "are you sure that you want me running in HR zones that low? i can bike in them... but, running, my HR can't stay below 150..." now, i feel ...